Feature Article:
Opening Sentences That Close the Sale
By Karon Thackston
It's one of the best pieces of copywriting
advice I've ever been given. "As often as
possible, start your paragraphs with sentences
that hook readers and drive them deeper into the
copy." Why? Because - after the headline - the
first sentence in any paragraph is what gets
read most often. After that point, customers
usually skip to the next section unless they
feel compelled to keep reading. That means your
job, as the copywriter, is to entice them into
each segment so they will consume as much of
your copy as possible.
Take your cue from Reader's Digest. They crank
out - issue after issue - exceptional opening
lines for their articles that engage then hook
readers. What happens next? The reader is pulled
into the story full force. Here are some examples:
It was a horrific display of
irreverence.
By the way she dressed, you would have never
guessed she was only 14.
As he reached into the box, something inside
it moved.
See? Those sentences boost your curiosity. They
make you wonder what happens next. They cause
you to visualize a scene that might be taking
place. You can do the same thing from a
marketing perspective when you write your copy.
For instance, rather than starting the copy for
an email to Australian hotels like this:
"You may be aware of www.blahblah.com - we
are an Australian-owned and managed online hotel
booking service."
Really capture their attention with an opening
sentence that is specific to them like this:
"Now you have the opportunity to affordably
position your hotel in front of approximately
6,000 travelers every day that are looking for
accommodations exclusively in Australia."
For an Australian hotel that depends on the
Internet to generate reservations, that sentence
gives them many reasons to keep reading.
Here are some other before-and-after examples of
opening sentences:
BEFORE: Hello and welcome to our
website. If you
are looking for [enter product name here], you
are at the right site. (In this case, the
example is from a wedding photographer's site.)
AFTER: We don't take pictures. We capture
precious memories that you can enjoy for a
lifetime.
BEFORE: Our site has been online since
2000, and this marks our 6th year online providing
designer-inspired sunglasses.
AFTER: How do you get the latest
designer-inspired looks without paying
outrageous prices?
BEFORE: Our cruise website offers unbeatable
rates and a diverse array of travel services
guaranteed to satisfy even the most
discriminating vacationer.
AFTER: Just imagine yourself on the white
sand
beaches of Honolulu, hiking through the balmy
rainforests of Belize or whisking down a
powdery, snow-covered mountain in Aspen, all at
up to 50% off!
BEFORE: Thank you for shopping for your
corporate gifts at blahblah.com. We hope your
shopping experience is delightful.
AFTER: When you truly impress your
clients with distinctive corporate gifts, they
remember you
longer, feel a closer relationship and are more
likely to reward you with increased sales.
See the difference? The "before" sentences are
dull, average and unflattering. The "after"
sentences are intriguing, imaginative and enticing.
Don't stop after you create inviting headlines.
Keep the momentum going by writing intriguing
opening sentences, too. When you do, you'll help
convert more site visitors into paying customers.
About the Author
Karon Thackston is owner of Marketing Words,
Inc. a full-service copywriting company
specializing in search
engine copywriting. Copy not getting
results? Learn to write SEO and online
copywriting that impresses the engines and your
visitors with Karon's Copywriting Course. Register
today at Search Engine College.
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Hello Readers!
Are we heading into another dot com boom? With Google
shares hitting $500 and more
tech start-ups launching each month than you can
poke a stick at, it sure seems like it. Hope
you're getting your piece of the dotcom action.
I have just started a new share portfolio and
I'm quite excited about it. I'm not quite keen
enough to buy Google shares while they're so high,
but there are a lot of interesting tech stocks
that are worth investing in.
Speaking of good investments, one thing you
should always invest in is decent copywriting
for your site. A gal that knows all about this
is copy genius (and SEC tutor) Karon Thackston.
Karon's our Guest Author this month with her
article about
how to use knock-out opening sentences. Just one
look at the before and after examples should get
your creative juices flowing.
Another treat we have for you this month is the
launch of our new affiliate program for
Search Engine
College.
You are one of the first people to hear about this
program, so get in quick! By simply adding a
small image or text link to your web site, you
can earn big bucks by referring traffic to
Search Engine College. You earn 15%
commission
for every student that successfully registers
for a course after clicking on your link. This
includes our Pathways courses that range up to
USD 1,195, so this could become your most
profitable affiliate program ever! See the bottom of
this newsletter for information on how to join
as soon as the program is launched.
Enjoy this issue and remember to visit the daily
Search Engine Advice Column to check out
my answers to frequently asked search engine
questions or submit one of your own.
Till next time - wishing you clicks and
conversions...
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FAQ1: How do I add keywords to my individual blog pages? | |
Dear Kalena...
I have a doubt plz help me. I think you can
help. How do we add different keywords to each
page of a blog like we do in a website? this
blog has done it. How did he do it?
thank you
John
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dear John
To add tailored Title and META Tags to your blog
pages, or to optimize them for keywords, you
need to edit the HTML template for your blog. If
you use Blogger, you simply access the tab
marked "Template". For other blog templates,
this
article should help you.
Kalena
| |
FAQ2: Has our site been penalized by Google? | |
Dear Kalena...
An excellent website! have found many useful
articles in the "ask kalena" section.
I was curious as to whether our website
www.simondelasalle.com has been penalized for
some reason. We have recently changed our
navigation from image based to text links to
increase the amount of keywords on the page. Is
it possible this website has been "sandboxed"?
It looks like Google's indexing of the site is
weak compared to MSN. Any feedback you could
provide would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your time and have an excellent day.
Simon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dear Simon
Thank you for the coffee! The caffeine is
greatly appreciated.
I've had a look at your site and the first thing
that strikes me is that there is no Google cache
for many of the pages. Your home page has a
healthy Toolbar PageRank of 5 out of 10 so there
is no penalty. Next, I entered your URL into Google's
new Site Status Tool. Bingo! I found
two problems:
1) Googlebot last successfully accessed your
home page on Jul 29, 2006 (which explains the
caching issue).
2) Google does not know about all the pages of
your site.
I'm not sure when your major re-design occurred,
but if it was around the end of July, then it's
highly likely the site has since been sandboxed,
as you guessed. Best course of action is to prepare
and submit an XML sitemap to Google
Sitemaps and wait till Googlebot travels your
way again.
After verifying your site with Google, you can check
if Googlebot struck errors during his last
crawl.
Good Luck!
Kalena | |
FAQ3: How does Ask.com rank compared to other search engines? | |
Dear Kalena...
How does Ask.com rank compared to other search
engines?
Natasha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Dear Natasha
I am assuming by "rank" you mean popularity with
searchers? This can be measured via search
market share. According to the latest figures,
Ask.com holds somewhere between 3 and 6 percent
of the US search market right now.
Why the range? Well unfortunately, search market
stats can be less than accurate, as Danny
Sullivan points out in his recent post Search
Popularity Stats: Sliced and Diced.
Kalena | |
FAQ4: Something keeps redirecting my searches. What is it? | |
Dear Kalena...
Something is redirecting my searches to sites I
don't want and suggesting links I don't want.
What could cause that?
PB
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hi PB
Sounds like you have a serious case of
spyware on
your hands. Better invest in some spyware
removal tools, pronto!
Kalena | |
FAQ5: Can you recommend any SEO companies? | |
Dear Kalena...
Can you recommend any SEO companies and/or
consultants? Preferably affordable ones.
Tom
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Hi Tom
I'm not in the habit of recommending one SEO
firm over another (especially as I run my own
SEO consultancy!).
What you probably want is a list
of sites that each have a substantial list of
recommended SEO/SEM companies.
Kalena | |
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